That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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