can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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