ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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