quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
