Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
