I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
