I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
