i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
