WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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