So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
