I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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