relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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