you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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