i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
this boner is exhausting
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
