It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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