guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
