her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
