I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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