i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
