It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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