just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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