babies were throwing up all over the place
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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