Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
