guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
