I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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