he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
