yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
