nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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