I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
