i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
