filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
