You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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