No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
