My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
