Ambien. No doubt about it.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
