Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
