I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize