he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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