hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
