I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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