my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
