If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
bring money and cleavage
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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