you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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