i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
