You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
