I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
