glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
