She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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