How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
