some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
