how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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